The Young Owl Blog

For whatever reason, we are here. It would be foolish to wonder why and silly to waste time on it. The same way it would be crazy to look back at your life 10 years ago and wonder why you acted a certain way, it’s crazy to now ask this almost a daily question of why people cannot use logic and reason and think for themselves.

We’re a country that supposedly stands United yet many of the publicized displays of human behavior over the last few weeks exemplify anything but unity. In a time of panic and uncertainty our primal instincts take over and we protect ourselves. We don’t unite we divide. We don’t share in the time of need we’d much rather prefer isolation but when we’re given as much time to isolate as we would ever want – we then complain about it.

Why can no one access toilet paper and gun purchase background checks at an all-time high? Because we think about ourselves. It is a primal instinct and one that is ingrained in our DNA. It will not go away and we can only hope that we can build up enough self-awareness as individuals to be able to see what WE are doing when we do these things.

We love attention and dramatic fashion. We’d rather talk about how bad things are than how good things are. We’ve been given a new challenge to adapt to and yet find ourselves lost and confused with the new abundance of time. Are we using it to enhance ourselves and the ones around us? Are we wasting away in a Netflix series binging to pass the time until everything is over and we can return to the routine we so desperately hated before all of this?

There are pockets of unhappiness that are following us around no matter what the new normal looks like. If you don’t address it internally, you won’t be able to shine externally. It’s not only a mindset but a dependency. You should feel as if every minute is a gift that you need to extrapolate what you can.

Yet, we think we are isolated from things because we won a lottery ticket and grew up in a country that pretty much could offer us anything we want. Until it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t what do you do? Blame others or find a way out of it. We are here, it doesn’t matter how we got here. What matters is taking today and finding a way.

It is stillness. It is effortless. It is a sense of order. I’m referring to the quiet hours of the morning when everything seems to slow down and almost cease to operate. It may be dark outside, or the sun may have risen but this is the time when most are sleeping but some are taking advantage of what it means to be a human. As Marcus Aurelius once said, “nature puts limits on things like sleep and if you’ve reached your quota it’s time to act as nature intended for you.”

What he means by this is that if you’re a human, you must not give in to the temptation of being comfortable and resting when you’ve had plenty already. It is your duty as a human to carry out your obligations and the practice of learning new things daily. Translated into modern-day terms, the early bird does in fact get the worm.

In a 24 hour day sometimes we make the mistake of not realizing that before your requirements of the day kick in, lay the most impactful hours of your day. We see this thread in everyone who struggles to succeed or execute things in their life. We call them lazy, or label them as not “morning people” but maybe they just don’t realize how important that time is. Maybe to them, at this point in their life, the comfort of the blankets and covers is more important than the growth and advancement of their life.

In 40 or 50 years from now maybe they’ll look back and say they were glad that they slept all of those extra hours and wasted those moments of life in the early morning. Or, maybe they won’t. Maybe at some point, they will realize that they’re not growing and because they are not putting themselves in a position to win the day, there are no worms. They can’t find the worms because they’re not even awake enough to see where they are.

We plaster phrases like “Carpe Diem” everywhere but the one who ceases to extrapolate the few precious hours before the chaos ensues does not seize anything but anxiety starting the day from behind. Every day there are parents whose day is dictated by the wake time of their children. How does this provide order and stillness? If you do not get ahead and take advantage of the hours of YOUR life then you live by someone else’s request.

If on the other hand, you realize that the morning stillness is your platform to create the life you want, then you will see how quickly opportunity presents itself. It doesn’t matter if you do not have a job or you work a 9-5 job, the early hours of the morning are yours to do as you wish. Wouldn’t you want to look back on your life and say you got all the worms you could?

This doesn’t mean that you have to wake up at 2am and just mindlessly grind yourself into a stump. It means that you seize those moments learning, growing, reading, thinking, sharing or maybe just being. When was the last time you felt the stillness of just being without interruption? Why is it that it’s more common to become frustrated by interruptions than it is to say I’m so happy I got to sit this morning for several minutes or hours with just my thoughts and silence? Let us not forget this.

The post could literally end there. There’s no need to go any further. It’s such a simple phrase and at the same time, it’s very easy to dismiss. We can read that sentence over and over again and go, ok I get it.

But you don’t get it. Why? Because you’re a creature of habit. You like comfort and consistency. You like routine. But the biggest advances in your life are not made from the comfort of a couch or underneath a blanket. The biggest advances in life come from shake-you to your core types of change. The change where you’re so uncomfortable or forced to be scared about all of the uncertainty. The times in your life where at the end of the day you go, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing but I’m sure going to try to figure it out; those are the moments that create leaps forward. They carve out new paths and new areas to explore.

Read it over. Now read it over again. This could be as deep or as shallow as you’d like it to be. But the reality is when you read that sentence over and over again, you want to change. You read it and it makes you NOT want to stand still. People sit in cubicles every day doing the same shit over and over again and yet at the end of their lives wonder why things never worked out for them or blame others who did have the courage to change and do more. Ever met someone who’s old and lives with regret? Not pretty or fun to be around.

Don’t be one of those people. Look at even the smallest of changes as pieces of your life that you’re advancing. For some people that change could be as simple as saying NO more. No, I’m not going to meet up and get drinks. No, I’m not going to cover your shift tonight for you. No, I’m not going to hang out with this group that I have nothing in common with.

If I ever find myself in a situation where I know I’m bleeding my life time out or I’m around people who suck and I don’t want to be there, it becomes so obvious to those around me that I act like I’m suffocating and need to move or leave and just get away from the energy suck that it is. That in itself is an example of change. Don’t eat that again, don’t hang out with those people again, don’t drive that way to work because it doesn’t spur creativity. So, when will you start doing something different?

Sometimes when you hear something someone said, it just sticks with you. The first time I heard this phrase I was watching a youtube clip of a conference that was held by Tony Robbins. Up until I heard the phrase articulated so eloquently I always knew in my bones this was true.

In fact, if I think back to the times I’ve not been the happiest or the times where I’ve felt stuck – I can very easily say that I didn’t have enough motion in my life. For me motion is everything. It’s brightness and lightness transferred through every area of your physical body. Just to be perfectly clear, there’s always going to be a nice place for stillness however motion moves.

It sounds rather stupid and ridiculous. Like no shit, if you’re in motion you’re moving Newton but that’s not exactly what I mean. There’s a direct correlation to the happiness level we have when we’re moving vs when we are not. Physiologically our bodies were meant to move and play and jump and run. This wakes the body up and in turn the brain feeds off the happy chemicals that are the byproduct of that motion.

It’s why sometimes you just feel like getting up and going for a walk. It’s why Steve Jobs always held walking meetings and why dancing makes you feel like a champion (well some of us). When we move we create emotions as a result. We literally manufacture the happiness we desire by moving. It’s why we feel compelled to work out, climb a mountain, have sex, walk down the beach, ride a bike and have a random dance party. All of these things are fun for sure but there’s much more going on when we do them.

The next time you find yourself stuck or confused, move. Get more animated with your life’s twists and turns. Jump when there’s something to be celebrated, climb when there’s a new challenge put in front of you and run when the opportunity presents itself.

When I die, I would like to be remembered for my obsession with life. I don’t know exactly where it originated but it’s something I think about constantly and every single day. It sounds cliché but I do not go a day without worshipping the life I’ve been given. I can get lost in the fascination of being human. Many people avoid taking the time to reflect on the miracle that is us but I definitely do not.

I think this is the reason I’ve always been able to laugh at even the shittiest of situations. Of course, I have normal freakouts, yelling fits or outbursts but for me, they’re therapeutic and help me move past things quicker. The give me the pause I need to take the darkness of the moment and crumple it up like a piece of paper so that I can play trashcan basketball and begin to have fun again. I don’t take things for granted in this life. I appreciate what was given to me and I’ve mentioned in the past that’s why I put such a heavy focus on health and enjoyment. I’d rather look back and laugh then look back and cry or feel sad about the messes I’ve encountered.

At the end of the day, it’s the experiences that make us who we are. There’s always room for laughter. Even in death, there’s room for laughter. I don’t understand why some people avoid speaking about death. Maybe they fear dying or don’t want to wonder how it will all go down but yet they’ll stress over something way more trivial that’s not guaranteed. Death is a known certainty and a given. Yet, for some reason, we avoid talking about it.

You cannot appreciate a flower without understanding that the beauty of it is followed by the withering, death and regeneration of that same beautiful flower. The question about the afterlife comes up in every circle from time to time. What to believe in and what to wonder is a big topic to sink your teeth in but I don’t occupy my mind with the what if’s of the afterlife when I know so certain that this short time blip we’re here on this earth is such an incredible gift.

If you can see the gift an appreciate what it is, everything else gets lighter. Understand this being human in today’s day is not normal. We’ve created an enormously false atmosphere when compared to the genetic makeup we occupy. Embrace that gift of being a human, making mistakes, learning from them, being better because of it and laughing at everything you can in between. When we realize we’re not going to “figure it out” is when we open the door to start living freely again.

As humans, we love to complicate things. I know what you’re thinking right now, not me. Well, unfortunately, it’s true for all of us. We make hundreds of decisions in a day, if not more and a lot of the time the decisions we’re making or struggling to make while depleting our mental energy, at the end of the day, don’t have a really big impact on the quality of the day.

We tend to like to be involved and I suppose this is rooted in our ancestral roots of the hunter-gatherer communal bonds that once were. There’s no problem being included or involved in something, the problem begins when we’re caught up doing shit that we don’t need to do. The next time you have the opportunity to relax and sit back – carefully watch what other people do or do not do for that matter. Try to observe what they do and why they’re doing it and ask yourself this question in the moment – do they really need to be doing this or is this better suited for someone else or not done at all?

It’s been said that we have an underlying motivation for every action we take. It’s also been said that that motivation can somehow be traced back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. For every decision we make we’re gaining or trying to gain something from it. Even the charitable or selfless acts have a tieback to how they strengthen our needs as individuals. But do we make decisions throughout the day that help us develop and grow those needs in a way that we can become the best that we can become? Or do we waste time on mindless stuff that makes us feel less adequate?

We’re living in a different world. It’s not a doom and gloom world but rather a world of infinite choices and possibilities. This creates a new set of challenges because you have to decide what you’re going to spend and invest your time on. Scrolling through Facebook is not going to allow you to be the best you can be. You can make every excuse about why you do it, i.e. it helps me unwind, I like to see my friends and family members at the end of the day, or it’s your way to “catch up” with things but none of these are true. They create a false sense of community and although they allow you to stay in touch, there’s no debate that a real face to face conversation trumps any amount of digital communication out there. Why? Because computers don’t do a great job of conveying the instant emotions and feelings behind the interaction of two people.

We have access to everything and therefore can DO anything but just because we can DO anything doesn’t mean we should. We have access to fat studios where you can lay on a table for 30 minutes wearing a spacesuit contraption and it will “sculpt” your entire midsection. For a few dollars and 30 minutes, you can have washboard abs. People DO this type of dumb shit all the time looking for a way to be better or make the path easier to where they want to be, but along the way, they waste time and money doing stupid shit.

Professionals DO things every day that they don’t need to do. A lot of the time they are only doing these things because they strategically look at a clock and figure out that if they DO this it will eat up about 2 hours of the workday, then there’s an hour for lunch and then they can do the only really important thing in their job today that will probably only take 45 minutes to finish. You get the point but it’s worth understanding how much time we spend on dumb shit and taking a step back to ask yourself – do I really need to be doing this right now?

Every year around this time people get motivated and jacked up about starting resolutions or changing for the better. While this is all well-intentioned we know from historical statistics that the majority of these fail. If you need any concrete proof to see this play out in real life just join a planet fitness today and compete with the many sheep who want to change something about their look or health this year once and for all. Compete with them for equipment and watch the post-work 5 pm crowd jam the hell out of a terrible gym for the next six weeks. About mid-February you’ll have all the space and equipment you’ll need because the majority of those people who once started with a change my life attitude failed to maintain a few core principles of any goal-setting / resolution regime – there has to be a why behind it and there has to be a road map guiding your desires. You cannot just throw out random items you thought would be cool to accomplish and hope.

There’s a ton of shit out there that would be great. Everyone out there can attest it would be great to win the lottery, never work again, travel the world and explore the land unknown but before you get all Peter Pan on your resolutions, I’ve compiled a list – (yes it’s extensive because having a great year is hard work) of the things you really need to do in order to have a smashing start to the new decade. 

1. Set goals and make them realistic but stretch goals. What’s a stretch goal you ask? Well if you have a goal written down you think you can reasonably accomplish then it’s not a goal. It’s a task that with concentrated effort could get done if you prioritized well. That doesn’t stretch you as a human being. It just makes you get something done so you feel good about yourself. We want to advance the fucking chains. 

A stretch goal is something that seemingly starts out as impossible but if dissected enough and boiled down could be possible with a lot of focused efforts and discipline. 

So what are two examples of stretch goals? Let’s start by using the same fitness hypothetical from above. 

Let’s say you’re 30 pounds overweight. If you were to set a resolution or goal to lose 30 Pounds and walk away you’d probably finish the year overweight by 35 pounds to start 2021. 

That’s because the goal has nothing attached to it. No weight, no roadmap and no why for the goals itself WRITTEN DOWN. 

So let’s say you think losing 30 pounds in a year is attainable, the stretch goal equivalent might be something like this:

A. Lose 30 pounds of excess body weight in six months. 
Why – I’d like to be able to have more stamina to keep up with my kids and lower my blood pressure so I don’t die early and leave them before they graduate college. 
Why’s that important– it’s important because the bond I have with my children is beyond rewarding and fulfilling and I feel a calling to teach them all the good things I know that could help them have a better life than I did. 
How will you achieve this goal? 
1. Sign up at the gym for an unlimited membership so I can go anytime I need to. 
2. Set a benchmark for 3 training sessions a week. 
3. Follow the workout routines from those who’ve achieved this level of weight loss and test them to my abilities.
4. Check-in every evening and score myself on how I’ve contributed to my goal. 0-3 is failure 4-6 is caution and 7-10 is passing for the day. 
5. At the end of the week I’ll add up my total and it must be over 7. If it’s not, reevaluate where I went wrong and course correct for the following week. 
6. Understand losing 30 pounds in six months is very challenging so constant evaluation is needed to make changes to nutrition and exercise routines accordingly. 
7. If I can afford it see counseling once a week to keep me on track. 

You can see from the above notes that’s how you should approach 1 goal or resolution. You need to spend the time and dig deep. Make sure it is important to you and the goal why adds value to your life. 

B. TRIM THE FAT. 

Look around you and take notice of the things that are important to you (hint – material possessions are not important). 
Take a day or two to soak this in. If you chase materials you’ll be chasing forever. Yes, nice things are nice. But at the root of it all, you really are only seeking comfort. You want to be comfortable and without worry. 

When I say to trim the fat, I mean materials and responsibilities that don’t enrich your life or people who you don’t genuinely want to be around. Understand that by trimming the fat you make more room for things to enter your life that have the possibilities of helping you execute on your goals, whatever those may be. We all carry around things that don’t serve us and we all spend way too much time amusing someone who doesn’t add value to our lives.

Examine them all, cut and move on. If you come to something or someone and hesitate the answer is – cut it. If it helps to use the burning building analogy then use it – i.e. you’re in a house that is burning down, you only have two minutes to grab your shit and bounce safely before smoke begins to take over your lungs and you die, what are you going to take? In this example, we safely assume all of our loved ones are already out. 

C. FOCUS – now that you’ve examined what is important to you and set stretch goals it’s time to focus. Understand the limitations of one human being and do what’s needed to accomplish what you want. If that means deploying other resources than by all means do so if you can but use this outline to understand that you need to focus wisely – There are 24 hours in a day. Approximately 7-8 of those are spent sleeping and that means about 16 of those you’ll spend awake and conscious which means you must focus on how those will be spent.

If it’s not a weekend, the majority of us will have to work around 7-8 hours out of those 16. That leaves around 7-8 hours of time that is dedicated to things outside of work. Focus on what you can do during that time to leverage your way further towards those stretch goals from above. During this time it’s really important to understand what’s important to you. Time is NOT an infinite resource so spend some TIME thinking about that. We both get the same 168 hours this week.

D. DO MORE BY DOING LESS – Seems counterintuitive right. Since time is not an infinite resource you need to focus when you’re in deep work but you also need to choose the time you spend doing nothing. It’s called human beings for a reason, not human doings. Utilize the time to work wisely by limiting the amount of time you work and you’ll get more done. Don’t let the day drift by you simply because you have a time slot you’re “supposed” to be working. Work on yourself and spend time working on learning new things and then when you have work that actually needs to get done you’ll have a condensed window to do it in and the work will get done because it’s a concentrated effort. I’ve spent hours listening to books or watching videos learning things at dead-end jobs when I had to find a way to utilize the dead time. There are two types of time – dead time and alive time. Your job is to make sure all your time is alive time. 

E. MEDITATION – of some sort. Alive time, as noted above, does not need to be a busy time doing things. You can be being. But you can easily regenerate yourself and lighten your stress through some type of meditation. It can be simple breathing exercises done for five minutes a day or a quiet walk. Meditation isn’t a one routine fits all. It could also be a quiet time trying to find what the Japanese call “no mind” or empty space. This further enhances the doing less part and accelerates the impact you have when you go back to crushing whatever it is you need to. 

F. ASK YOURSELF MAGICAL QUESTIONS – When thinking about how you want to improve day after day understand that it’s the questions that are most important to your growth. The more impactful questions you ask yourself on a daily basis, the more your actions will influence your daily outcomes. What do magical questions look like? Well, if you’re trying to improve on your health you could ask yourself a simple question every time you pick up a food or drink – Will I feel good after eating this? OR You could amplify this with a magical question like – Will my life be extended or reduced and my overall well being enhanced or declined by eating or drinking this??? Another magical question to ask yourself is – why am I doing this right now? Will this add happiness to my life? My personal favorite is some variation of the following – If I were to leave this earth right now would I be making this same decision? 

G. HAVE A MORBID OUTLOOK & A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. We love planning. As human beings, most of us would plan everything if we could. Fortunately for us, there is some type of higher power that interjects whenever it sees fit and changes our plans. Having an understanding that you could leave this earth at any moment really effects your decisions of the micro and the macro. Will I care about this tomorrow? Am I wasting my time on this meaningless task when I know I won’t be able to get back these minutes? 

H. RAISE YOUR SKILL GAME – You cannot experience growth if you continually stick to the same things and do not explore other things outside of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the same field go deeper, explore other things and let your curiosity develop the ability to run wild. Explore the opposite side of your beliefs, try to prove yourself wrong, whatever you do invest time in the improvement of new skills. We are nothing without learning and if we are not expanding the 10% capacity in-between our ears then we’re not exploiting the god-given gifts we were granted.

There are a few tried and true easy ways to expand your knowledge/skill set, read a book, take a class, go to a seminar and invest in a self-paced course, but in today’s day, you can literally do almost everything for FREE just by searching the internet. It’s crazy stupid how much knowledge is out there. Be selective, cut and move fast when something is not working for you and you will continue to progress. Just don’t spread yourself too thin as this is very easy to do when the internet can be like drinking from a firehouse. One other thing to expand yourself is to write something every day. When we write we are forced to expand, even if it’s a small piece, a note anything you have to think about will help you expand.

Finally – keep things SIMPLE. How do we eat an Elephant? One bite at a time. It’s very simple to look at the list above and get super overwhelmed if you’re new to challenging yourself. It’s also very easy to be completely scattered and accomplish nothing if you’re the type that tries to do everything at once. Start with one, but the most important thing is you start. A 1% change in course direction will have you in a completely different destination a year from now. Good luck – go crush.