The Young Owl Blog

Navy seals go through some of the most grueling training in the world. This training is designed to break even the strongest of hopefuls who enter into the program. The total reasoning for “hell week” cannot be summarized into one sentence but this is the week that separates those who will more than likely make it through BUDS training (basic underwater demolition) and from those who will bow out. The program lasts 24 weeks but hell week is the one always referred to by the movies. A point where torture is acceptable, malnourishment, and hypothermia are standard daily practices and medics on duty are incredibly busy attending to the needs of future seals who are literally getting the shit kicked out of them day after day.

If you’ve ever watched anything remotely close in a movie or read about hell week online you’re familiar with the aggressive style of training that can make anyone squirm just by reading what they do for this protocol. I bring this up because it’s a great reminder during challenging times to realize that we are beyond fortunate to be in the situation we are in no matter what difficulties. Although we do not voluntarily put ourselves through hell like the SEALS in training, we have days, weeks, and months that can feel like absolute hell. Times where all you really want to do is run, scream or hide. Everyone feels this way and it can be ridiculously frustrating however, there are two constants to lean on during times like this.

First – the sun will set today and rise again tomorrow. At some point, you’re going to have to leave what you’re doing/ what’s got you a hot mess and frustrated and lay down for a moment. You cannot continue to blaze through difficult times endlessly and sometimes knowing there is an end is very helpful.

Second – Someone has it worse. Look at the SEALS who go through BUDS training. The majority of these soldiers in training are anticipating what it might be like, but one can guarantee at some point during their training shit goes completely left and they question their sanity and humanity. It is beyond a test of physical strength, it’s a test of mental strength and will. Part of the reason why they are the most respected is that people know how crazy you would have to be to make it through voluntary torture like BUDS. But the training is just practice and although it sucks during the duration of hell week, it can never simulate exactly what will happen when there’s real lives on the line and foreign territory that poses all different types of threats beyond one’s imagination.

If we remember this when we struggle and go through challenges, it will allow us to build mental toughness layer by layer in a more controlled way that probably involves less hypothermia and requires less medical attention. Someone right now has it worse than you. It’s only a moment in time and nothing lasts forever.

At that moment it can feel like things will never get better or never change but they do pass. In a week’s time, things start to seem like a foggy memory and after a few weeks, you can usually remember your frustrations level but not the minute details that drove you to insanity during that time. It’s important to remember this when you’re not in one of those moments. Keep this handy so you can whip out the strategic thinking when frustration consumes you. No one can escape these instances but we can do our best to minimize them and mentally prepare for how we’re going to regain control when it does occur. One of the thoughts to ponder that has always made me pause is this thought that all stress is self-induced. Natural stress – reactions to threats are programmed in our DNA but everything else is man-made and self-inflicted.

I don’t have anxiety. Well, maybe that’s not true. Let’s just say that the form of anxiety I get, I don’t pay much attention to or let in because I’m not one to use a crutch to make excuses for myself. My anxiety is one of a different kind that leads to a bit of mental paralysis. Here’s an example of a very common internal brain pattern for me.

Brain – you know you have to get this done before you do that other thing and make sure you finish the last project, don’t spend time worrying about this stuff, maybe I’ll just read to get things going or maybe I’ll feel guilty for reading because I’m supposed to be working on something, why am I working on something someone else should be doing, maybe I should take a minute or two to plan – ok let’s plan – there’s a fuck ton to do here, it’s ok I have all the time in the world (lying to my own brain) ok focus – we’ll finish the important stuff, as long as that important stuff gets done we’ll be heading in the right direction – what about the big picture stuff, what about fixing the broken piece on that door, did we ever hear back from so and so? What about so and so’s ass ache and inconsistencies lately, can anyone do anything around here? OK let’s get to work, oh wait, wtf is this email – they’re upset and need a response right now, an apology or explanation or something to make them feel special even though that was the rudest email I’ve ever received. Let’s get organized before this day slips away from you and you beat yourself up for not accomplishing all of the things on your to-do list. Does that list even do anything for you? Does it help or compound this situation? Maybe I’ll read for a moment to get the wheels going (as if they’re not spinning a million miles an hour as it is) – wait let me just check this one thing first.

All of that above happens in the span of 26 seconds in my head.

Some days I hate the internet. Other days I’m amazed at home much “stuff” I can get done because of it. My problem is I want the best. I get it, best is arbitrary and what’s great for me could be horrible for you but I’m a pretty good judge at why I choose certain things. Being the best, getting the best, finding the best takes time. We’re living in a time right now where every little thing is instant gratification. Have a question – the answer is one click away. You don’t have to wonder, you don’t have to hypothesize – just scroll and click. As if that wasn’t easy enough, someone on the internet has probably created a “hack” or “condensed summary” of the thing you needed to know so instead of 3 minutes it took you 30 seconds to find some superficial answer.

Someone probably went to college and has 40 years of real-life experience around a topic but because you’re a master of the click, you summed their take on it up in 30 seconds, less time than it takes for butter to melt in the microwave.

The internet is like the biggest flea market ever. You know the majority of it is shit, yet you walk around because “let’s just see what they have to offer” and then you’re completely sucked into some gypsies story about snake oil and how it cures cancer and diabetes at the same time. You’re welcome, you’ve officially arrived at the dumpster or reality mixed with bullshit.

However, the real challenge is that we can no longer close pandora’s box. We can no longer imagine a world without the flea market we call the internet. So we deal with the anxiety that ensues as a result of all of this “free” access to information. Nothing is free, there’s a debtor on every transaction. Some pay with the anxiousness of not getting enough done while others roam about life only worrying about what’s for dinner. Sometimes the need to get more done signals a point where I need to back up and be realistic. Most people wouldn’t attempt to read an article while listening to an audiobook, but I’ve tried it because I thought I could do more. I promise I’m not always like this, only when things get piled up and the feeling of getting organized or having everyone aligned seems like a crazy distant thought. It’s at this point I realize I need to pull back and ask the right questions. Additionally – sometimes the best question to ask is why does any of this even matter?

Everyone has them. You cannot go a single day in your life without hearing a complaint. Even if you took yourself to a remote island resort, you wouldn’t be able to do it. Within a few hours, you’d overhear the staff at the resort complaining about each other or the way their boss treats them or worse you’d be complaining that the cocktail you just received by sitting on your ass doesn’t have enough ice in it.

It’s utterly ridiculous that we can live in a world where complaints are so prevalent and if you’ve been paying attention this far, you would have noticed that this entire sentence I just wrote is a complaint. It is almost virtually impossible to go an entire day without a complaint. The struggle for me lies between the razor-thin margin of what’s actually a complaint versus what is something you genuinely believe sucks and needs improvement.

If you’re striving toward excellence and you’re a practitioner of getting shit done, I think the difference between the two involves two areas of focus – frequency and the time spent dwelling. If you focus on the frequency of complaints you’ll naturally be able to catch yourself and assess whether you’re just complaining or you’re striving towards excellence. It is ok to demand better and you should. It’s not ok to complain about every little thing you see and deal with on a daily basis. Everything does not suck (although sometimes it can definitely feel like it) and you can shift your focus on being grateful for the imperfections in front of you.

The other area to focus on is the time you spend dwelling on it. I am guilty of struggling with this, as much as the next person. For whatever reason sometimes it’s just as challenging to walk away from a complaint as it to not voice one in the first place.

Letting it consume you is where the toxicity comes in but even managing that takes practice. It’s like watching a car wreck in slow motion with you behind the wheel. You can see yourself, you have the awareness of the impact of the complaints on your entire psyche and yet you cannot let it go. It becomes consuming and the self-talk inside your head just does not work sometimes. The downside is unlimited. It takes away your energy, your time, and your motivation for the rest of the day if you let it. Luckily, we can change our state of mind at any point we wish.

We can choose to shift the frame we see this certain situation before us. People often will say – just let it go but you know in your head it’s easier said than done and you’re left wondering why is this so hard to let go? It’s hard because some deep-rooted need is being impacted by this situation. Something is eating at you because internally is just doesn’t sit well. You have to decide in that moment whether it’s worth your time to explore it or not. Most of the time it’s not. It’s your call.

Because I’m forever an optimist, my heart and my brain wrestled with what had just happened. It wasn’t confusion but more a moment of wow, I guess my ticket was getting punched this week. I wake up every day with this extreme sense of gratitude. Last week I woke up with the same gratitude but one could say it wasn’t as extreme as it should have been. Maybe there was a pause button being hit.

I understand the need for balance and can make excuses why somethings work out the way they are supposed to and others do not. Even as I finished that sentence it’s as if my brain said – stop you’re lying – everything does work out just as it’s supposed to be. But yet, last week I had no answers to losing not one but two forms of love that are irreplaceable.

They say enjoy each day, each moment and live in the present. I agree, but it doesn’t matter if you do, and here’s why. I have had plenty of “moments” and continue to have moments where I catch myself pausing at the wonderful nature of the person or thing I’m currently enjoying. I stop, I enjoy it and sometimes am in awe of that happiness in that present moment. It’s as if time stands still suspended at that moment. That, to me is truly living. However, even through all of this presence and gratitude, it doesn’t take away or lessen the pain one ounce after they’re gone.

Time doesn’t stand still and things move forward but it doesn’t make the suck any less. They say time heals and I know it does but we’d all rather it be different. They say how lucky are you to experience and appreciate something so wonderful that you can feel the sadness and pain of losing it. Maybe this is just their way of justifying and rationalizing how difficult it is to have a truly deep connection in your life and then in a moment, it’s all gone. We’re left to catch glimpses of what our memories can conjure up to fill the absolute bottomless pit in our souls.

You’re left thinking about what could have gone differently, what you could have done differently before catching yourself, and realizing that what you’re arguing for is against whatever divine order is. I am forever strong but sometimes life is just hard in moments. It’s those moments where I’ve come to appreciate my own mortality and find ways to convince my brain that this will get better. There’s a better plan on the horizon. It’s at this moment I have to lie to myself and tell myself it will all work out eventually. I know it will but sometimes these things just happen.

I find my level of confidence to be one of my superpowers but am grappling with the light that’s supposedly at the end of the tunnel. It’s a confusing mess right now. Sitting still becomes the nemesis and getting things done blunts the pain from hour to hour. However, despite my lack of preparation for this moment in time, I’m reminded that I don’t know how many sunrises I have left and that thought should be enough to snap me to. This is one moment in time that deserves appreciation even though it’s a bit of a challenge at the moment.

This could possibly be one of the hardest chapters for me to write. To the reader who knows me closely, this is probably a surprise because one would think since I’ve built a lifestyle on this concept it would be very easy for me to discuss this concept.

However, as I continue to grow and learn more from people unlike myself I find myself incredibly torn. On the one hand, it seems pretty simple. Garbage in gets you garbage results. If we’re talking about strictly the foods you consume then there’s a good chance your daily performance reflects that garbage.

We’ve all been there to some degree. Maybe not to the level of the 600-pound man, but we’ve all consumed something in some environment and felt like absolute shit. That’s because our bodies, while remarkable, have to constantly adapt to the changing environment we as free-willed individuals, put them in.

Get fucked up at the bar or a party and tomorrow is hell to pay. Your body has to work overtime to course-correct the damage. However, what we take for granted as mortals is the mere fact that you can take a day (sometimes less) and bounce back. Sometimes people even repeat this damage in back to back fashion. Thank god for pain because the body would know no limits to this damage if there was not some type of signal to say “hey you dumb fuck, you’re poisioning me in here.”

If the conversation stopped at food some people would have a fighting chance. Unfortunately, it does not. It would be wrong to talk about Garbage in – Garbage out without mentioning the fact that a big part of this includes one’s environment.

The toxicity of your environment also contributes to the outpouring of garbage that feeds a perpetual cycle. If you are constantly around negative people it’s incredibly hard to defend against that mindset. If you surround yourself with bad apples it becomes increasingly harder to know the difference. As our awareness narrows so too does our positive contributions to society. Even if we have the best intentions, sometimes what we’re consuming from those around us, the media, our peer groups is in fact straight garbage.

It will become increasingly important to constantly analyze your own environments and put yourself on trial. Ask yourself if you’re consuming garbage, if you’ve surrounded yourself with garbage, and if you’re unaware that the rabbit holes you get sucked into online make you a worse person. The only way to do this successfully is to understand what garbage is first and then upgrade your life, make sweeping changes, and have the courage to cut those things and people out from your environment altogether.

Where I find myself torn is in the ease of the execution of a lot of the above items and not giving people a fair chance to get their own shit together. I’ll be the first to admit I’m quick to judge and I think that a lot of those judgements might prove accurate to some degree but I think when it comes to these things above, I’ve learned that most people need a deeper look inside. There is a large chance that they are not choosing this garbage completely consciously.

However, as individuals, we all have free will to decide what we want to take in. One could argue about the young individual with a shitty living circumstance and a sea of toxicity surrounding them but to them, I would argue he/she still has a choice. Despite the challenges of everyday life we are not alone and control whatever we’d like to between our ears. It can act as the ultimate purification system if you fine-tune it.

So now it’s time to decide.

Do you have the courage to stand alone?

This sucks. What sucks? Everything. Why? Because it’s just shitty.

Too often we hear and engage in conversations that spend a lot of time discussing how shitty something is. It could be a circumstance, a situation issue or a person that we’re dealing with. They suck, she’s an asshole or this thing is a piece of shit. For some people it’s their fuel and it’s how they make their presence known. Without these people pointing out various issues and flaws their significance would drop dramatically. Their very existence is built on complaining and bitching to others in an attempt to make them see how badly things are.

Misery loves company. Without reinforcement, it gets suffocated and cannot survive. Complaints without the solutions deduct any sense of progress and in fact, bring us backward. We all know these people – chronic complainers. Whether it’s at home or at work or YOU are currently one of them. It’s critically important to realize that this behavior is equivalent to an aggressive form of cancer. It can take optimistic people and make them questions themselves. It can take a balanced person and pull them into darkness and it can take a person struggling and stomp out any hope they had left.

So now that we spent the better part of the opening of this chapter exposing what to be hyper-aware of and how to identify these people or situations what do you do if you find yourself in the middle of it? Develop the mentality that you do not get a free pass to bitch and complain if you do not have the solution behind it.

Awareness is the place to start. If we can be objective in our awareness and assess whether someone is a chronic complainer or just having a moment we can find a good place to start. From there you must assess whether the energy and effort are worth it for you. If this atmosphere is coming from your living environment, it’s probably worth it to address it through honesty and confrontation. If it’s coming from school or work it will all depend on how badly this person or group is effecting your progress. If it’s your friends, it’s worth having the conversation or finding new ones.

It will all depend on whether it’s worth it to you. The same way negative people drag us down, positive people lift us up. You can be the sunshine for someone else. You can spread the positivity that is lacking but understand it’s a tall order. It takes effort, you’ll be outnumbered and it gets tough to keep the light bright from time to time. Remember to surround yourself with people who keep you light shining while at the same time show you where your own darkness lies.

Ever feel like we’re striving for something elusive? We work, we do shit and we get paid for things. Then there are other times we pursue our own creative interests when we have time. There’s a little voice in the back of our minds whispering once you make it to this point then you can be happy or settled and then from there everything will be a little bit easier.

This is a myth. It’s the biggest misconception when one is in pursuit of something. Usually, we chase a number – a dollar amount, a revenue amount, a number of followers or likes, or something more superficial.

With an insatiable appetite to get to the top, we lose sight of what’s most important to us. The journey. When you win it feels great for about 60 seconds. It’s fleeting and it brings with it a feeling of what’s next. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun but we have the ability as humans to enjoy the victory for less time than it takes to put on a pair of clean socks. This is something I wished I learned a lot earlier in my life but I think subconsciously I knew it at the time I just couldn’t articulate it.

There were cold mornings in the garage before school spent on the stationary bike that absolutely sucked but that I can vividly remember now. At the time it felt like it needed to get done to continue to get better but what I didn’t realize is how that would become a source of much-needed power and inspiration for my adult self later on.

When I needed a boost or a break I could remember this moment as 12-year-old peddling with the steam radiating off of me from the cold air meeting my body heat and sweat. These were moments of pursuit. Any success I had in my career was due to moments like this. The climb, the journey, the pursuit. You can fail a million times along the way but you always remember that you spend more time in the pursuit.

It is here where failure meets opportunity. You can expose every weakness you have and polish it. You have the ability to highlight what you suck at along the journey and use that for whatever you want to achieve. Opinions don’t matter during the pursuit. The only opinion that matters is yours. The only thing that matters in the pursuit is what’s true and what’s not.

Be true to yourself and look around during your ascent.

Don’t be trapped in a mindless pursuit. It’s got to lead somewhere for you.

What would you do to get to the top?

Once at the top then what happens? You cannot take the summit with you.

The preparation, skills, setbacks, heartbreaks, failures all add to your life’s journey. That can never be taken away from you. Even if you win or lose, that specific moment in time, the time and hard work it took to get there can never be taken away from you. Pursue wisely.

I grew up a child of fortune. Fortunate enough to live in a nice enough suburb. Fortunate enough to have food on the table, a cozy bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I was given all of the things a kid could want. I got new bicycles, was able to play travel sports (you know the ones that cost a fortune) and always went to school with a new wardrobe year after year.

At the time this was “normal” for me and when I looked around it was average. Some kids had it worse off, some kids had nicer things than I. With no perspective you start from there. As you grow older and you realize that certain people possess certain things because they were fortunate enough for their parents to give them these things not because they earned them or bought them with their own money.

I was also fortunate enough to be friends with a lot of kids who had, what I would label as “rich” parents. I should have known it then but I didn’t. As kids, you wonder why they have things you don’t. To you things matter when you’re a kid. It’s no wonder that certain people’s confidence develops at different rates when they’re embarrassed about being the ones that don’t have.

I remember saying silly things like, drop me off on the corner, there’s no need to pull all the way up to the front. I’ll walk. Besides if it was not cool for your parents to drop you off at school, it definitely was not cool to let your friends see your parents beat-up car. It’s in these moments subconsciously that habits begin to form. Your perspective starts to shape as you vow to always be better, have more, and give more to your children when you’re older. Unfortunately, it’s during times like this that we distort the true worth of an individual. We place more focus on the material things people have rather than the individual they have become in pursuit of those things or the values that these wonderful people have instilled in us.

With great power comes great responsibility. However, you have to have enough clarity and perspective to realize that money is only one component in the multiple dimensions of being a human. This perspective takes time and can be hard to develop when you watch those around you appear to have more success because they “have” more “things.”

It’s America and that is what we’re measuring things by right? What do you mean you don’t have a house, three cars, a home in the Hamptons, a butler, a maid, and seventeen pairs of shoes? How come your instagram doesn’t show you “flossing” with all of those expensive cars and homes in the background?

We measure success, a very arbitrary term by the way, by our material possessions. You must not be worth much if you don’t have all of the things above right?

Buddhist thinkers reveal the opposite. However, it takes a lot of experience for one to decide what is valuable in this life and what is not. Lucky are the ones who figure this out sooner, rather than later. Things stack up. Once the necessities are taken care of i.e. – shelter, food and clothing, everything else starts to stack up. How many things can you use at one time? Better yet which of these possessions actually make you a better person or make you more money?

The best times in life are those spent with other humans, not with things. When is the last time you walked away from a conversation with your car and felt whole? The worth of an individual is something that cannot be measured in dollars and cents yet a countless amount of people think they aren’t deserving of things in this life because they don’t have enough money. Change your perspective to value what actually matters and continually improve your self-worth through personal discovery, deep meaningful relationships and meaningful work. Remember you are not the things you possess but the impact you have on those around.

When I leave this earth I hope that people choose to see me for who I know I am inside. Although it’s hard to predict how you come across to others, I hope that the people who were close to me saw the person I was both flaws and strengths alike. There is no greater accomplishment on this earth than leaving an impact for those who you’ve had the good fortune of interacting with along the way and most importantly the children you hope to leave behind.

What do you want them to know about you?

If you could tell them anything before you go let it be this – Every day you wake up should be considered a gift. Life will not be easy, but it’s not supposed to be. The gift does not come without sacrifice. When you rise in the morning and feel tired just make sure it’s because of a good day’s work the day before. You should experience all the pleasures life has to offer but don’t be unrealistic about the pain and suffering that will be experienced along the way.

Never let the highs be too high. Never let the lows be too low. Maintain a balance that can keep moving you forward. There will be great accomplishments and horrible setbacks in this life but none of that matters. It’s the process. It’s the things you learn along the way that serve as the tolls on the road to those accomplishments that matter. No one can ever take something you’ve learned away from you. Those are yours to keep.

Be grateful for what you have but never let that stop your desire to improve. Do not settle but understand that you have everything you could ever need in that moment right inside of you. No one can make you happy unless you, yourself are happy first. Likewise, you cannot even begin to love someone else if you do not totally and humbly love yourself.

Don’t let people mistake your confidence for cockiness as the two things are different. It’s good to have both when you need them but confidence is much deeper than cockiness. It’s like comparing the depth of an ocean to the depth of a piece of paper. If you want to build confidence, practice. Practice more than you think you need to and then practice some more. There is no such thing as mastery but there is such a thing as discipline and hard work.

Love the craft you seek to master with the understanding that you’ll always be an apprentice. Hope to shoot for the moon so that you can be lucky enough to miss it ever so slightly so that you land amongst the stars.

Just like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder the same goes for success. Remember success is arbitrary and your success is nothing compared to someone else’s in this world. Conversely, your success might be miles ahead of the person you’re sitting next to. Stay humble, stay hungry. Above all, be kind and be considerate but understand no one owes you anything. You do not owe the world anything and the world does not owe you a thing.

Time will move faster than you want it to at certain points and slower in others. Embrace them all, be present in the moment even though it’s really difficult sometimes. Understand no human is perfect and neither are you. You will make mistakes but try to learn everything you can from them. At that very moment don’t ask why me but embrace it and say of course it’s me because it was meant for me.

If you don’t understand the reasons for something going on at that very junction– that is ok. You don’t have to understand it all but just understand that it’s part of the bigger picture, the puzzle piece that was deliberately and delicately cut out for that section of your life.

Some people won’t ever see things the way you see them. It would be foolish to expect this from two different individuals. Have compassion for them and for the beauty of the uniqueness of the individual. You will be fueled at times by other people’s actions, use that fuel wisely to advance yourself as a human.

Do not use it to cut others down or think that it will sustain you. Eventually, that fuel will burn out if that’s your primary motivation. Your reason for anything needs to come from inside you. It’s not selfish to want to be the best out there but understand why you want to be the best. Do not set out on an adventure that will leave you hollow when you reach the top. Success of any kind is fleeting. All of these things are hard to see beforehand but just remember that there is no substitute for hard work.

Have virtues that guide you through your life but understand why you chose those. Be open and flexible to change your mind. No two moments are ever the same and it’s ok to not feel as you once did. You can change your mind, and you can move on if something no longer serves you just don’t be one of those spineless people who end up yesman that let their lives be dictated by the opinions of others.

You are capable of extraordinary things but they will not just be handed to you. Your quest should be to squeeze the most out of this life. Never stop learning and growing. You beat incredible odds to just to make it here and you had no doing in that part. You were gifted this life so treat it as such. If you need to be humbled from time to time just go outside and look around. Life itself is everywhere around you and bigger than any one person could begin to understand. Stand next to a mountain, get pulled in the undertow of a wave or just pause during a thunderstorm to understand how insignificant you are. It’s a beautiful insignificance that reminds us that if we’re going to have any impact in this life we must respect every aspect of it.

Do your best.

There is not enough open discussion on death. As humans, we tend to avoid pain and seek out pleasurable conversations. Talking about death makes people uncomfortable. Maybe because it’s such an unknown. If only we could peek at what it was like then maybe we could rest a bit easier knowing what happens after the lights go out. But what happens if we got that peek and it increased all of the anxieties and fears you currently have about death?

Uncertainty, fear and the unknown can live anywhere you let them. Doubt can creep in without a warning. I’m not asking you to be fearless. This isn’t going to be about storming the gates on a bareback stallion with a spear in one hand and shield in the other to conquer all fears. It’s about asking yourself why you live in fear of death?

Have you not contemplated your own death?

Start.

Are you afraid of death?

It’s not your choice.

So many of us carry worries around like luggage through the airport, dragging all of this excessive stuff alongside us which doesn’t serve us. The truth is YOU will die.

When will death arrive? Who knows the answer to this – only the universe. So many people that have come before you, hero or villain have died and no matter the excessive fame, fortune or disgust they’ve left behind, they are now gone, all in the same category, league or world of those who have passed.

You are no different. Soon your time will come. Don’t waste time wondering when.

Marcus Aurelius said – “you could leave life right now, let that determine what you do, say and think.”

Don’t over-complicate this very simple yet important message. It’s a message that you should keep with you in every moment. If you could go out, how would you choose to if you could? Don’t you want to start living your life this way?

There’s a photo that hangs above my desk of a flower which represents life, an hourglass which represents the time on earth and a skull which represents mortality. I see it every day while I’m working and it serves as a nice reminder that life is not infinite although most of us walk around like it is.

We make plans, God laughs.

Epictetus had a quote where he said: “as you kiss your son goodnight, whisper to yourself, he may be dead in the morning.”

Many people’s initial reaction to a comment like that would be something like, “oh no, that’s so morbid.” But if we take a step back and examine where he is really coming from, we realize that what he means is that it is deeply important to be present in that moment and eternally grateful for the gifts in front of you because nothing lasts forever and time decides all fates.

It is only when we can begin to dive into the reality and certainty of death, that we can open up and find a new world of appreciation. Lean into mortality, except it and discover the endless power it gives you right now so that you do not look back on your life and say, I wish I would have thought about this sooner, I wish I would have prepared myself for this. It is coming whether you want it to or not.