I grew up a child of fortune. Fortunate enough to live in a nice enough suburb. Fortunate enough to have food on the table, a cozy bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I was given all of the things a kid could want. I got new bicycles, was able to play travel sports (you know the ones that cost a fortune) and always went to school with a new wardrobe year after year.
At the time this was “normal” for me and when I looked around it was average. Some kids had it worse off, some kids had nicer things than I. With no perspective you start from there. As you grow older and you realize that certain people possess certain things because they were fortunate enough for their parents to give them these things not because they earned them or bought them with their own money.
I was also fortunate enough to be friends with a lot of kids who had, what I would label as “rich” parents. I should have known it then but I didn’t. As kids, you wonder why they have things you don’t. To you things matter when you’re a kid. It’s no wonder that certain people’s confidence develops at different rates when they’re embarrassed about being the ones that don’t have.
I remember saying silly things like, drop me off on the corner, there’s no need to pull all the way up to the front. I’ll walk. Besides if it was not cool for your parents to drop you off at school, it definitely was not cool to let your friends see your parents beat-up car. It’s in these moments subconsciously that habits begin to form. Your perspective starts to shape as you vow to always be better, have more, and give more to your children when you’re older. Unfortunately, it’s during times like this that we distort the true worth of an individual. We place more focus on the material things people have rather than the individual they have become in pursuit of those things or the values that these wonderful people have instilled in us.
With great power comes great responsibility. However, you have to have enough clarity and perspective to realize that money is only one component in the multiple dimensions of being a human. This perspective takes time and can be hard to develop when you watch those around you appear to have more success because they “have” more “things.”
It’s America and that is what we’re measuring things by right? What do you mean you don’t have a house, three cars, a home in the Hamptons, a butler, a maid, and seventeen pairs of shoes? How come your instagram doesn’t show you “flossing” with all of those expensive cars and homes in the background?
We measure success, a very arbitrary term by the way, by our material possessions. You must not be worth much if you don’t have all of the things above right?
Buddhist thinkers reveal the opposite. However, it takes a lot of experience for one to decide what is valuable in this life and what is not. Lucky are the ones who figure this out sooner, rather than later. Things stack up. Once the necessities are taken care of i.e. – shelter, food and clothing, everything else starts to stack up. How many things can you use at one time? Better yet which of these possessions actually make you a better person or make you more money?
The best times in life are those spent with other humans, not with things. When is the last time you walked away from a conversation with your car and felt whole? The worth of an individual is something that cannot be measured in dollars and cents yet a countless amount of people think they aren’t deserving of things in this life because they don’t have enough money. Change your perspective to value what actually matters and continually improve your self-worth through personal discovery, deep meaningful relationships and meaningful work. Remember you are not the things you possess but the impact you have on those around.