Kinda hard to wrap your head around. And unfortunately, I can’t even explain it to anyone.
One day it’s I love you and I miss you.
The literal next day it’s good bye.
I would ask myself how but the words were more cutting than ever before, it was pretty obvious.
In fact, when someone you love so damn much turns around and tells you that you were only there because it was comfortable, it’s like being branded with a hot cattle iron on the insider of your soul.
As if comfortable wasn’t enough, what followed was routine and…familiar.
Like a god damn box of cornflakes. A commodity.
I never learned and I paid the price. Was it worth it?
Yes –
But I guess I value deep love and connection too much. I hate to admit it, but I love loving someone with everything I have. The problem is when it’s not for that someone you end up loving.
And I can still remember looking to those broken eyes so many years ago and promising myself that I would make her the happiest woman on the face of the earth.
I tried.
It just wasn’t what she wanted.
At least…not with me.